what am i

I took a nap and had a dream.
I dreamed that I was going to get down from my grandmother's hometown, and I needed to take a big car like an airport bus. I didn't have any luggage to take, so I got on the bus and saw my grandfather sitting very close to the door. He looked younger and didn't recognize me. Then I sat down and found my mom and dad sitting next to me.
Then the car drove, and soon, I found that there was thick yellow mud on the road, and the car seemed to be plowing in it, so the driver asked us to get out of the car and push the car together. In the dream, it was easier to push the cart. My parents and I pushed it behind, and the mud piled up higher and higher in front of the cart. At this time, I don't know why only the three of us and the driver were left. The driver took us to another fork in the road. There was a flatbed cart on the side of the road, and people could sit on it. The height of the flatbed was just higher than the yellow mud. I forgot what kind of structure it was, but people sitting on it could also push it. My parents let me sit on it, and the driver and my parents pushed the car behind and on both sides. But after only two steps, my feet stepped directly into the yellow mud. I was wearing white shoes, which I like very much, and black wicking pants, and now the shoes and trousers are covered with yellow mud. Maybe it's yellow mud, maybe it's feces, soft and sticky, piled up to knee height on the road without gaps.

I got off the flatbed truck and walked to a road farther away from the yellow mud, which had been cleaned but was still muddy. My mother stood next to me, as if trying to comfort me. I checked my trouser legs and found that they were stained with yellow mud. The fabric became see-through and wet, so I rolled that part up and my hands were wet too. I dipped my hand into the puddle near my feet, swung it, and shook the water off. I feel that at this level, it doesn't matter if the water in the puddle is dirty or not. Then I looked back at my mother, took her left hand with both hands, and I looked at her and asked, "Mom, what am I?" Then I started crying and woke up crying.