I don't know if it's a good dream or a nightmare, so it's classified as a regular dream.
Probably when I was in class in the morning, I suddenly remembered that when the epidemic started in 2019, I went to live with my grandparents for a month or two. It was a very relaxing and pleasant time in high school. When the online class was over, my dad said to wait for me. After going to university, I can still come back to live with my grandparents during the holidays. Unfortunately, my grandparents’ physical condition has deteriorated rapidly since the third year of high school. After college, my grandparents always need to be hospitalized when they come back during the holidays. It is impossible for me to live with my grandparents again. Until the end of last year, when the school was closed due to the epidemic, I was shocked to hear the sad news of my grandfather's death. It was the first time that my dearest relative left me so completely, and my heart ached as if the whole world was let into my chest and torn apart.
It has been almost half a year now, and my mood has stabilized a lot, but this morning I suddenly remembered what my dad said when I was in college. Grandma's physical condition is not as good as before. I lived in my grandparents' home in elementary school, so there is a big room for me. Now the original bed in the big room has been removed, and two hospital beds have been moved in. A nurse The aunt sleeps, and the other grandma sleeps. There is a big oxygen tank next to the grandma's bed. Many things have been moved into this room. Correspondingly, many things that belong to elementary school memories have also been moved out, and the furnishings of the entire room have also been completely changed. up. So at that time I was still thinking that it would be good to go to college early, and I could come to live with my grandparents again, but I never came to live again, and I will never have the opportunity again. How could I come to live again? It turns out that the time is really not the same Yes, those things, those memories, the first ten years of life from elementary school to middle school, the fact of "living with grandparents" itself, I can't go back at all.
Ah, it's far away, I'm here to remember the dream. Probably for this reason, I dreamed when I took a nap at noon. I haven't had a lucid dream for several years, and this time I also didn't know that I was in a dream. I dreamed that I was on vacation and I was going to see my grandma, so I went to my room at my grandparents' house again. When mentioning that room until now, the first thing that comes to mind is the appearance of it in elementary school. A large bed is placed in the back, occupying half of the room. On the left side of the front half of the room, there is my first desk against the wall. Zhang, it’s not enough for me after two years of use, so I put some of my sundries on one side, and on the side with the window in the middle is my later big desk, a light brown wooden desk, which my grandpa would regularly use to protect the desk Cutting a tablecloth of the same size to cover it, coupled with the sunlight that will slant in from a row of windows in the afternoon and cover the tabletop and wooden floor, is the whole impression of the place I am most familiar with in elementary school.
The scene in the dream was not completely constructed, only the green desk was there. When I greeted my grandma in the living room and continued to move forward, I only knew that there was a small green desk. I didn’t realize that it was here. where. When I stood in front of the green desk, I seemed to suddenly realize something. The surrounding scene suddenly changed rapidly. The original chaotic surroundings began to quickly reorganize and gradually became clear. I also realized at a glance what was changing here. At this moment, I suddenly remembered that there should be more than this small desk in this room. At the place where I am standing at the moment, behind me, there should be a large light brown wooden desk. When I knew that the layout of this room had changed, I had a strong contradiction. In the dream, I could definitely perceive that the desk must have appeared behind me, but I also suddenly realized that this arrangement was made before my grandfather left. display. And now, grandpa has left us for a long time.
Do not look back.
This was my first thought in the dream. Although when I realized that the familiar desk must have appeared behind me, I reflexively wanted to look back, but I immediately stopped my urge, don't look back, don't want to look back, don't want to make up a dream of the past for myself, and don't want to let I know this is a dream. In my dream, I have already ignored the fact that my grandfather has left this family. Don’t remind me again, over and over again, accompanied by the pain of never being able to return to the past.
But I don’t know whether it’s subconsciousness or force majeure. After I made it clear that I don’t want to turn back, I still turned back uncontrollably. Afraid to look back and see that desk, suck me into the old mirage, and then push me away, but I can't help looking back, and what I see is more like it than I imagined. a sweet dream.
I turned around and saw Grandpa sitting at the table with his back to me, fumbling with something. I can't see, I can only see the back of my grandfather's head, his back to me.
Full head of black hair.
Once again, I realized with all the reality that this was a dream.
This is undoubtedly a very beautiful dream.
My consciousness in the dream was the first to cry out before the existence of "I" in the dream.
Like a piercing scream.
I escaped from this dream immediately and almost in a panic. The consciousness in reality is still slowly recovering. I feel that I am waking up and returning to reality. I can't help crying while grabbing the plush toy beside me.
The consciousness gradually came back, and I slowly remembered that it was Sunday noon, I was still in the dormitory, several other roommates were still taking a nap, and there were minor classes to attend in the afternoon.
It's time for me to get up.
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